I’m A Survivor
Let’s talk about survival states vs. thriving states. When a survival response is triggered some mix of fear and anger will activate. Many, however, will quickly shut down that energy rising and/or get frozen in shame. If you have a lot of unprocessed trauma, survival responses are triggered more easily and with greater intensity
A great way to discount yourself and avoid uncomfortable somatic feelings: explain away why you shouldn’t be afraid of something, or why you shouldn’t be angry at something.
While rationalising or justifying details, like the reality of potential risks or finding empathy over blame, is an important step — if you don't tend to the body’s response then you squash your ability to gain clarity and experience genuinely believing any rationalisation (that's your truth). AND… get this… you limit your ability long term to respond appropriately with fear or anger when it’s needed to actually look after yourself!
Fear and anger are mobilising forces if we are not frozen. They mobilise us to protect ourselves, to survive. Your body is an organism that’s first and foremost trying to keep itself alive – our autonomic nervous system is largely in charge of this.
When you build a relationship with your survival responses
1. you become better at processing past trauma while staying present
2. you identify and relate to others as survivors rather than in victimhood
3. you better attune to correct responses to protect yourself and your boundaries
4. you gain more access to genuine states of thriving beyond baseline safety
This frame helps me relate to fear and anger with less judgements: The package has already arrived! I can’t justify or explain it back in time into the courier van. The survival response has already been activated, now I process the package. Can you notice when you're in a survival response or frozen in shame?
